Catskin (catch the fever)
by Angela and MiniMix
Summary: The complicated lives of cats in Midgar and the people who belong to them./ [Cloud/Sephiroth/Zack/Angeal/Genesis friendship] AN AU oneshot collection of life as experienced by cats.
1. Genesis

Once again, a crosspost from A03. Notes will, as usual, be copied directly from there, so if they seem outdated that's why.

This is going to be another of those "set of slice of life oneshots loosely connected by the universe they exist in" things the way Cloud Dragons is. So, no real plot, just various moments in the life of characters. As with CD, these will be mainly in whatever order I write them as opposed to chronological order.

They're cats though because I'm a dork and the idea of them as cats amused me and I could use more humor in my life. Also my own cat is a ridiculous spazz of epic proportions in the early morning hours so about 99% of Zack's insane antics can all be traced back to things she either has done in the past or still does. Genesis will also have his spoiled behavior based largely on my cat, who is about as equally spoiled and very good at training her beloved pet (aka me) into doing what she wants.

Basically, about 100% of everything the cats do in this fic can be laid squarely at Seven's feet because she inspired me.

* * *

Haughty eyes followed Cloud's every move; it was becoming increasingly obvious that Genesis had absolutely no intention of allowing the younger cat to wander what he considered _his _space without the russet's supervision. Nervously, the blond cat plopped himself down in the center of the living room floor and endeavored not to move. It was a bit of a stretch, but perhaps if he tried to be harmless and not touch anything the clearly possessive cat considered his, he'd look less murderous about the intrusion-it seemed to work after a few moments, as Genesis eventually looked away with a sniff.

He visibly softened when Angeal wandered in through the window a moment later, though his eyes narrowed at the smaller black cat following on his friend's heels; said cat just waved his tail in an excited greeting before he threw himself at Cloud, who winced as his friend landed on his back heavily.

"Angeal," Genesis purred dangerously, tail lashing-the _thump_ of his tail every time it hit the leather couch was loud enough to catch even Zack's attention. "Tell your... _puppy_ to cease his destructive tendencies within my residence."

"Hey! I'm not a dog-!"

"You certainly _yap_ like one."

"You-"

"_Zack_," Angeal interrupted sharply, cuffing his companion lightly. Once certain that Zack would stay quiet, the cat turned his attention back to his friend with a sigh. "Genesis, is it really necessary to antagonize him?"

With a sniff, Genesis look away. "I suppose not. But it doesn't change the fact that he brought a _mongrel_ into my home without so much as a by your leave!"

Cloud shrunk back behind his new friend, tail coming up to hide his face in embarrassment and Zack actually growled. Even Angeal looked mildly offended by the statement. Genesis looked only slightly apologetic, before he hissed quietly. "Look at him Angeal! He's tiny and-and _sad_ looking! Like he's been kicked! It's very upsetting! I'm _delicate_. I'll be off my food for _hours_ trying not to feel horrible for making him cry."

"Oh for-you're being melodramatic again Genesis. Do I need to call Sephiroth over? He knows how to derail you when you start getting like this-"

"_Minerva_, no. I do not need that... that... " Genesis' fur began to bristle as he paced atop the table, clearly unable to articulate whatever thought was at the tip of his muzzle. "_Primadonna_," he spat finally. "Coming over here again."

"Then stop being rude. Cloud is new to Midgar and he's Zack's friend. _And_ mine," he added when Genesis opened his mouth to retort. With a low growl, the cat snapped his mouth closed again and turned away.

"Very well. It's a... _pleasure_, Cloud. I am Genesis Rhapsodos. You may continue to visit if you must."

"...Thank you?" Cloud ventured, once he realized that an answer was clearly expected. With a bored nod in his general direction, Genesis leaped from the table and stalked away into the other room; Angeal turned to Cloud with an apologetic look.

"Don't mind him, he's normally much better than this. He's just not very good at making friends is all. Once he's gotten used to you being part of the group he'll relax. Genesis is actually a lot of fun to be around, if a tad dramatic." Angeal's smile turned more genuine as Cloud accepted his explanation with a slow nod, before Zack interrupted them by jumping onto the sill of the open window.

"Come on Cloud! Aerith's home, I wanna introduce you to her!" Zack called, before he tumbled into the bushes below in his excitement.

With a laugh, the two cats followed their companion.


	2. Zack

It was the muffled yowls that woke Angeal from his nap.

At first, the tabby couldn't figure out what in the world the noise was; it was only when he heard Aerith's exasperated "Oh _Zack_!" that he realized that it was Zack, in the kitchen. Climbing to his feet groggily, the cat padded into the kitchen to see what the problem was and how he could possibly help only to come up short-Zack was on the counter, with his face and one paw shoved inside a cereal box, and he was clearly stuck.

"Zack, what in the world-"

"Angeal help!" Zack cried piteously, just before he scooted backwards in another attempt to free himself. He (and the box) fell off with a startled yelp, landing on the tiles with a loud thump. For a moment he was deathly still and Angeal heard Aerith's gasp, before Zack was abruptly up and moving again as he tried to flail his way out of the box.

"Angeal!" he cried again, clearly in distress from his predicament. The movement of the box, however, had distracted his older companion and instinct had taken over-with a playful hiss, Angeal lunged for the box and landed atop it, resulting in another surprised yowl from Zack. Distractedly, he heard Aerith muttering under her breath before he was abruptly lifted up and away from Zack. Angeal kicked his feet before he was placed down on the counter, and watched as Aerith gently pried poor Zack out of the cereal box.

"_Honestly_, you'd think you'd never seen a box before Zack-please stop poking your head into things," she scolded gently. "Or it'll be the milk jar all over again."

"Sorry Aerith," he whined, curling up on the floor beside her feet and staring up with large, sad eyes. "I didn't mean to get stuck!" He pressed against her leg, still giving her the pitiful look until the girl finally gave in and reached down to give him a gentle pat.

"Well, I'm sure you learned your lesson this time. Now go play Zack." She shooed him away, and Angeal watched him go before turning to his owner as she resumed her original task of putting away the breakfast things. Sleep came easy, and Angeal drifted back to sleep to the sound of Aerith's humming as she washed the dishes.

* * *

Fun fact, the original working title of this fic was 'Cat Fantasy 7' and is what I affectionately call it in conversation. (Though Final Hairball 7 was also an option, haha.)

This is an actual thing my cat does-she has a box obsession and if it's too small to crawl inside of then she will shove her face inside instead. Seven is a utterly ridiculous cat, I'm afraid.


	3. Sephiroth

Seven has a tendency to rip my arms to shreds whenever she's unhappy and Sephiroth has unfortunately inherited that particular trait, to the chagrin of the ShinRa family.

{I'm not sure Persiroth is actually not somewhat mentally imbalanced in this universe, tbh. Hahahaha.} That said, Sephiroth takes care of his men no matter what form he takes.

Also for the record, breedwise I've only decided on Zack, Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis so far. Angeal is a basic tabby, Zack's a(n American) Midgarian Shorthair, Sephiroth is a Persian, and Genesis is a (Norwegian) Nibelheim Forest cat. I need something for Cloud though, so feel free to make breed suggestions! (Preferably adorable, kicked puppy expression breeds haha.)

* * *

If there was one thing in all the world that Sephiroth hated, it was _baths_.

He had his dignity, (he had _something_, Genesis had said once though he'd never found out the other cat's meaning) and he refused to be subjected to such humiliation quietly. He could groom _himself_, thank you very much, and he was not adverse to using his claws to get that message across. It was for this reason that whenever it was decided that he needed a bath, full scale battle armor was handed out, and President ShinRa was seen vacating the building for an abruptly planned lunch.

(Actually he refused to be submitted to such indignity at all, but sometimes his humans managed to win the battle of the bath, and Sephiroth was a firm believer in the philosophy of 'if I go down, everyone else is coming with me'.)

Today was bath day. Nothing had been said aloud yet, in the vain hopes that if they did not say it then Sephiroth wouldn't know it was coming. But he knew-oh yes, he _knew_. He could see it in their eyes, battle hardened SOLDIERs warily watching him for claws and teeth. Abruptly the persian whirled, hissing and spitting before darting away as a SOLDIER (the traitor, he'd let this one scratch him behind the ears without clawing him once!) attempted to grab him by the scruff. Three men followed in his wake, the tallest barking orders into a radio. Sephiroth darted down the hall, fur bristling.

(_"He's on floor 49! Squad A, make sure all doors are floor 49 are closed and no one opens them until the all clear-"_)

The sound of multiple doors being slammed closed all down the hallway startled him for a split second, before the original plan of taking cover in one was scrapped. Sephiroth was good at plans, though; with one avenue of escape closed to him, the cat simply altered his course for the elevators. If he couldn't avoid them here, then he'd simply try somewhere else.

(_"Target headed to the elevators-"_)

A SOLDIER slid into his path, reaching out to grab him, and was met with a silver whirlwind of teeth and claws before Sephiroth was gone again, streaking out of sight.

Knowing better than to follow, the SOLDIER instead radioed in Sephiroth's last known location and positioned himself in case the cat doubled back. Backup had been dispatched to his location, so he wasn't _too_ worried about being caught alone if the cat did double back. (Okay, maybe a little worried. Sephiroth, despite being a cat, had become fondly known as the General among ShinRa's SOLDIERs for a damn good reason, after all.) A crash at the other end of the hall, followed by an angry yowl and vicious swearing alerted the SOLDIER to the fact that their intended pincer movement had not gone exactly as planned.

* * *

He'd been outwitted this time, Sephiroth admitted grudgingly as a SOLDIER massaged soap into his fur warily. The humans had been worthy opponents this time, learning from past mistakes and their ambush tactics had succeeded this time. Of course, he'd given as good as he got and more than a few men were bloody and battered by the time a hissing, spitting Sephiroth had been lowered into the bathtub.

Even now, despite his seeming calm, his minders were still wearing their battle armor and watching him warily. _About time_, he thought viciously, as he growled warningly and the one rinsing his fur didn't even flinch. _At least they're finally shaping up into decent hunters._


End file.
